Probable Realities - VI
I am a devotee of the primary directions technique of astrological prediction. I’ve always found these directions to be pretty accurate, particularly the conjunctions, and therefore I’ve always been puzzled about why the converse direction of Neptune to my Ascendant in the fall of 1980 produced no event whatever.
About the only thing that was happening in my life then was that I was eleven years into an unhappy marriage which was progressively deteriorating and would end nine years later; and I had a three-year-old son. Then an extremely attractive (Leo rising), single, hard-working and dedicated, witchy Scorpio woman, whose natal moon precisely conjoined my natal sun and who fulfilled every image I had of what I wanted in a woman, moved into town.
Looking back it’s kind of funny: my wife met her before I did and, being very psychic, she immediately picked up the vibe – meeting this woman really raised her hackles. Anyway, from the beginning this woman and I were super turned-on by each other. She came onto me big-time and made little effort to conceal her feelings. I was torn to pieces, since although I would readily have dumped my wife in a second – even if this woman hadn’t appeared – I couldn’t justify to myself abandoning my son. It got so bad that I purposely avoided this woman whenever I could because being in her presence forced me to stifle impulses that were raging out of control. I have never had to clamp down upon myself so hard in all my life. Eventually, a few months later, she moved away and that was that. The marriage continued downhill, two more kids were born, and in the end we split up. So, not much of an event that I can point to happened at that time to correspond to the Neptune direction to my Ascendant.
But my guidance has told me that there is another probable reality in which I did abandon my son and leave with this other woman. This present probable reality, in which I stayed with my wife and son, is no more nor less real than the probable reality in which I left with the other woman. And the birth horoscope is an indicator of all possible probable realities: the chart of the “me” who stayed with my wife is the same as the chart of the “me” who left with the other woman. So, if this is true, then at least the Neptune conjunct Ascendant direction worked in the probable reality in which I left (if not in this one, in which I stayed).
Then recently I was channeling to ask the question of whether I’d made the right decision in staying with my wife, since the thing fell apart in the end anyway. And this is what my guidance told me: “It wouldn’t have mattered. That’s something you still haven’t figured out – that there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; all there are, are different decisions, different lessons to learn, none of which ultimately matter in the least. That was a great sacrifice you made for your son, which he’ll never understand or appreciate, but which definitely made you a far more selfless person – hence a better father and husband, and a more spiritual person. You lost a lot of selfishness on that one. And, if you’d left with K., it wouldn’t have been any bed of roses either. That’s what the Neptune conjunct Ascendant – which you’ve never understood – means. In some probable realities you left with K. In this one you made a tremendous sacrifice for the sake of another person, which put you squarely on the spiritual path. Or another way of putting it is: splitting with K. may or may not have destroyed your chances for spiritual advancement, just as leaving the ranch (a job I hated but which I sensed was a spiritual test); or leaving during the guerrilla war (another test: a situation in which I never knew from one day to the next who would show up to kill me, but which my guidance told me to stick out) might or might not have destroyed your spiritual aspirations. But staying in your marriage – honoring the commitment you had made to your son (and wife) – definitely moved you forward on the spiritual path. Shirking your responsibilities and taking the easy way out would have left you right where you were. And that’s what Neptune conjunct Ascendant meant.”
Will the human race be able to save itself in the coming century, let alone prosper? Or will it self-destruct and drag the planet down with it? There are probable realities which go either way. Which one of these we find ourselves in – or place our children in – depends upon which one we choose for ourselves.
We call the outer circumstances of our lives – the situations and relationships in which we find ourselves – for some reason; and we can also change that reason if only we don’t lose sight of (feeling for) the ultimate goal. This means reaching out to probable realities in which there is joy, no matter how improbable they may seem at the moment, rather than to ones which will only reinforce our self-pity and self-hatred. Hope is the fuel that propels desire forward. This means faith not in ultimate success, but in ultimate self-worth.
(parts of this article are excerpted from Bob Makransky’s book Thought Forms, which includes an in-depth discussion of probable realities and their relation to reincarnation. To subscribe to Bob’s free monthly astro-magical ezine, just send an e-mail to: MagicalAlmanac-subscribe@yahoogroups.com).