The Politics of Relationship - I
In every relationship there is a power equation – someone has more control than the other person. The power in a relationship at any given moment resides in the hands of that one of the partners who has the least stake in the continuance of the relationship. Typically, therefore, the power equation in a relationship will teeter-totter back and forth over time (and over different lifetimes) – now this person, now that one, being the one presently calling the shots.
There’s no astrological way of determining who’s on first in a relationship at any given moment. What horoscopes do reveal, however, is how the individual partners wield the power when it teeters their way; and this is shown primarily by the planet Venus. Where Mercury is the planet of Mind, Venus is the planet of Desire. Desire is always couched in terms of power – the balance of power between an individual and his or her environment. To want is to cede power to whomever or whatever can satisfy that want.
An individual’s satisfaction is reckoned in terms of the value of what he or she possesses. In the first instance this means the body, its physical beauty or usefulness in work. Anything of measurable value is symbolized by Venus – it is the impulse to score points for the self. Where self-consciousness (Mind, or Mercury) has no measure, self-worth always has a measure. The coin of meaning in the individual case can be Mommy’s love, money, social success, sex, heaven; or it can be merely the sense of worth that comes from all the patient suffering undergone in a lifetime. But there must always be something to show for it all in the end: some little blue ribbon or other, some measure of control over the environment, some sense of personal power and effectiveness; and that is self-worth. Venus symbolizes both the native’s manner of adapting him or herself to the environment, and also the concomitant adaptation of the environment to the native – the measure of his or her satisfaction and success (worth).
In contrast to Mercury (mind), Venus (desire) shows a person’s dark or hidden side. People readily communicate what’s on their minds, but it takes deeper intimacy before they reveal what they’re really after. Too, most people know their own minds; and their minds are made up, or they can change their minds. However, they often don’t really know what they want out of life; or how to go about getting it; or why it is that their efforts haven’t been rewarded. Where mind is expressed as an attitude, desire is expressed as a yearning. It is more symbolic in nature than mind, and it reveals itself to awareness not so much in conscious thoughts as in the imagery of fantasies and dreams. For example, in our fantasy conversations, mind is the logical train of our argument, and desire is the longing for whatever response we hope to elicit from the imaginary interlocutor with whom we are conversing or interacting.*
Thus, where Mind is concerned with superficial order – rationalizing, filing and sorting – Desire is concerned with power – weighing, maneuvering, manipulating. Where Mercury presents himself, Venus offers herself, but with the clear intent of subduing that which cannot be seduced. With Venus we’re talking about people’s strategies of control, manipulation, and avoidance of intimacy (loss of control).
(continued …)
* “Dreams’ contents are symbolic and thus have more than one meaning. The symbols point in different directions from those we apprehend with the conscious mind; and therefore they relate to something either unconscious or at least not entirely conscious.” - C. G. Jung, Man and His Symbols, Dell 1972, page 80.
It’s not that symbols have more than one meaning – a symbol has but one meaning, but different rational interpretations of it are possible. A symbol is how desire reveals itself to mind – symbols are to desire what thoughts are to mind: they mean what they mean, but the manifoldness arises when we try to analyze, to use mind / thought to try to encompass desire / feeling. Hunger is just hunger; but a fantasy or dream of eating is a symbol for the desire and thus has ramifications.